Monday, March 2, 2009

Grr...attitude

Generally, I think I'm sort-of half-and-half on the half-full/half-empty thing. Like half "things are so great", and half "but why did THIS PART go wrong??" I feel lucky and grateful a lot, which I think I express. Sincerely. But when facing mixed blessings, maybe I've been a bit...cranky and cynical. Not my most endearing qualities. For example, when someone offered to give up their own time and personal life to help me cope with what is most likely going to be a pretty rough week, and did so in the most AMAZINGLY KIND WAY...I'm afraid I wasted a little time thinking it might be motivated solely by the proselytizing opportunities. Possibly that is because the BIG thing to worry about, like WHY ANYONE NEEDS TO MAKE THAT OFFER AT ALL, is so monumental that being cynical was easier. Time to say, "Duh, self! Get over your, er, self." So, in the spirit of opening myself up to the kindness that has been thrown so ENORMOUSLY in front of us all, I want to open my arms wide and say THANK YOU: To my Internet friends: Thanks. Even though we've never met, your supportive words provide a touching little bubble of good feeling that buoys me up daily. Thank you to my family, who has been IMMENSELY supportive to Jamie, even though they don't know him very well. The phone calls, advice, offers of help and yes, the prayers, are tremendously important to us. Thank you to Jamie's family, who have been very kind to me, and, some of them, SO VERY STUPENDOUSLY nice to Jamie since his diagnosis. Jamie doesn't see or speak to most of his family all that much. There's a lot of complicated history there. But they mean so much to him, and when his family does something nice like come visit and make a fuss over him, it is a HUGE, MOVING, VERY BIG DEAL. (You know who you are!) Thank you to my group of amazing friends. So many of you have made some great offers and just been generally supportive and kind and solicitous. And a few of you have listened to me go berserk over this latest development. Which I wish were anomalous to this one thing, but you know me well enough to know that my head spins around and I yak endlessly over trivialities too. Ahem. I hope to never need to repay in kind some day - but if the need arises, I'm 1000% there. Because I owe you all. A lot.

6 comments:

Amy said...

Love you guys!

Irish Gumbo said...

Rebekah: You're welcome. Happy to help, even if its just good vibes.

Someday, if we get to meet, just give me a hug, tell me things are okay. We'll call it even.

(And I apologize for getting milo and Jamie mixed up in my e-mail of the other day.)

Mama Nomad said...

aw, i miss that "half-full, half-empty" self of yours...i'm always just a holler away (and happy to buy you some tunes on the juke in the near...)

and, yes, family, even the dysfunctional ones, can be the bees knees when the going gets tough. i am glad you know how great you've got it, all-in-all:-)

angstmonkey said...

I love you guys and would do whatever I can to make this whole thing move even the tiniest bit smoother.

radishly said...

omg I love the post title. Hilarious

Jason, as himself said...

Ohhhhh, I'm so glad to hear this.