Monday, February 2, 2009

A month of heart...

Did you hear this one?
Man says to doctor I eat spamburgers daily: angioplasty!
Ahhh...haiku. So wise.

Jamie doesn't eat spamburgers. Not even once. But apparently his heart hasn't heard the news. This Friday he's scheduled for an angiogram to see why his heart's not doing the things it orta.

Jamie is 36. He's my younger man! But he's inherited the cholesterol problem of someone much older.

After a routine physical last week, it seems like we've gotten daily doses of bad news about the state of his health. Words like coronary blockage, out-of-control triglycerides, stent, bypass. Immediate action. Words like heart attack.

Ironically, it's almost St. Valentine's day. February. The month of love. And hearts. There are effing hearts everywhere I look right now. But the one I'm looking at with real emotion is scaring me.

I don't want to overreact. Or overdramatize. We have options, doctors, insurance. I don't want to be so wet, but this is my partner - my kid's dad. It's been a strangely tremulous year, this 2009.

Thus far, I'm all for burning off the things which slow me down, make me less of the person I want to be. But a trial by fire from fear-of-loss, fear-of-death, just fear, I'm not sure I'm ready for all that.
We'll make it, but I'm afraid of being afraid.

15 comments:

M said...

Wow, what is up with our family and health problems this year?!?!? Jaime and my mom are so young; it seems to strange for them to deal with these kind of health issues.

I'll be thinking of you guys and sending good vibes your way, especially on Friday. Keep us posted.

Amy said...

My heart breaks for your heart about Jaime's heart.

The eternal optimist in me says (and KNOWS) Jaime will be fine, and is glad for modern medicine which will ensure his crazy lovable curly head will be around for MUCH MUCH longer, but it's also extremely scary staring down health issues and coming to a realization that we're more vulnerable than we like to think.

Feel what you need to feel, my friend. It's a lot to digest. And to Jaime I say, lay off the spamburgers!!!!!!!!!!!

Lee said...

Dang. Thinking of you. Hoping the bad news starts turning to good.

Sprite's Keeper said...

Adding you and Jaime to my good thoughts list and hoping Friday's visit yields nothing more than an easy fix.

Squirky said...

Don't forget, we are right up the street from you guys! Call us anytime. Really! We are thinking of you...

angstmonkey said...

My dear dear friend.... We are here for you.

Mama Nomad said...

i bet you $10 MY husbands cholesterol is higher than YOUR husbands cholesterol...:P

really though. i dont think if one eats fairly well and gets a decent amount of exercise that high cholesterol is something to worry too much about. although it has become very popular to covet the low cholestrol score (and pharmecutical companies have done very well with marketing their drugs so that people can do just that) i think that other factors better determine risk of heart disease.

buts that just my 2 cents, dear.

nicole said...

Thinking of you...

Captain Dumbass said...

Hopefully you're getting all the dark and twisty done early so you can enjoy the rest of '09.

elliesmadre said...

Yes! Damn you have definitely had enough dark and twisty so far. I am so sorry all of this suck is happening to the ones you love. Although I love the woo, western medicine has it's place. And I am going to believe in those doctors to fix up your Jamie. Love to you Rebekah.

Jodi Mardesich said...

oh, R, so sorry to hear about this. Think good thoughts. Imagine things being OK. Don't dwell on negative, fear-based possible outcomes. I know, easier said than done. But try it, okay? meditate on positive outcomes. See it happening. it's worth a try.
sending you lots of love. xox

Hedy said...

Wow! I'm so sorry to hear about this! I'm glad that they are catching it now though, before it's too late.

If last year taught me anything, it's that age really means nothing when it comes to stuff like this. I hope this problem is something that can be solved relatively easily and painlessly!

Definitely thinking of you guys!

-H

Jason, as himself said...

This is crazy.

I'm sure since they caught it early he will be fine for a long, long time.

Simplicity said...

Better that he find out now than when it's a bit far gone.

I guess it's time to break out the Wheaties!

Sprite's Keeper said...

I gotcha, girl! You're linked!