Thursday, December 4, 2008

Cowboy kittens sapped my will to live

Thanks to Captain Dumbass, I was reminded of something: I'm lame. Here's why:

About 3 years ago, we moved to a neighborhood on the edge of Portland's SE industrial district: "Brooklyn" - known for many years (although less so lately) as "porn town" due to the many - now defunct - porn theaters/clubs in it's business district. Porn-town was a step up for us.

Porn-town Waffle house is 100+ years old. It has "character" and also, weird decorating choices made by previous tenants. When we moved in, we had many many good intentions: First up? Rip out wallpaper! Including: Giant pansies! Beers of the world! (seriously, wallpaper comprised of international beer labels) And, my favorite, COWBOY KITTENS!
I spent long hours ripping out carpets only to find day-glo orange and turquoise painted wooden floors beneath them. I then sanded carpet glue that had been laid directly on top of the painted fir floors. We scraped yards of wallpaper and then I painted. Sealed. Paint paint paint.

In about a week, the 2 bedrooms and office were shiny and awesome. Except for...Cowboy Kittens. The bathroom. It needed a full overhaul, as not only were the walls covered in kittens AND faux burlap AND baby-poop-painted trim, but the cheap linoleum tile was coming up, the sink leaked and the shower had been put in not according to code and required some work just to make it functional.

Here is the sucking part: I suck at finishing projects. Seriously. Suck. Just ask my backsplash tiling project, my red-barrel project, my doll-making project. They'll tell you: SUCK!

Jamie sucks too, in this way, so together we're just one, loving, sucking couple. Fine...except? Cowboy Kittens (and the yard, and the garage, and the basement...) To date? One wall is wallpaper-free, and the other walls are covered in the results of haphazard, occasional picking at the ends of wallpaper while the picker is in the bathroom.

Some day, as Wizard is my witness, we will defeat those kittens...

9 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

Bwahahahahaha!

The Cowboy Kittens are AWESOME! I hope you left them up, because I totally love them. Maybe that's what I'll redo my master bedroom in!

Lee said...

The solution? A work-party. Invite people over with their tools. Offer take out pizza and booze when it is over. Everyone is happy. And no more cowboy kittens!

Captain Dumbass said...

Thank you for the cowboy kittens. Now I need to burn away that image.

Mama Nomad said...

you did WHAT to beers-of-the-world wallpaper?? for. shame.

xoxo

katydidnot said...

here's the thing. there's a designer somewhere in this world who thought the cowboy kittens were awesome. a designer.

goatess said...

Ha ha! At least you guys are cat lovers. Would you have more motivation to strip the paper if they were cowboy puppies or cowboy gerbils?

I read this post a few days ago, and I've been thinking about you as I've been stripping the wallpaper in Sam's new room. It's definitely a pain. I have noticed that the paper peels right off if you spray it with a water/vinegar solution and wait 5 minutes. Perhaps the same would work for you?

Jason, as himself said...

Cowboy kittens? Oh, no. No, no, no.

Nora Bee said...

HA! Maybe you should leave it and then resell it as "vintage". THere might be someone willing to pay a lot for those kittens.

Jodi Mardesich said...

those cowboy kittens are rocking my world.