Or this is totally cute: OK, frankly, I've never quite been here. A couple of protests that could have gone awry, but...mainly no. I did date a couple of future felons though. And made some poor roommate choices in college which could have gotten me here.
[Note: when your parents offer to pay for religious college, which you acquiesce to under duress and out of poverty, because you
Fortunately, she never got caught (while you lived with her). Unfortunately, you live in your car for a while because you get freaked out by the company she keeps (and she totally steals all your clothes while you are doing this). During a Utah winter. Before you FINALLY realize you will pay for your own college, drop out of BYU and go live with non-drug-dealers-not-in-your-car, thank you.]
Anyway, I never got arrested.
All right. I was also never a mermaid, nor going to be a mermaid. But I did used to have cartoonishly perky boobs.
Singer! My first college major: opera! But primarily I did an enormous amount of bad or mediocre community theater. Right before I married the Evil Mad Scientist, I gave it all up and have (almost) never looked back.
Smoker!.Well...passively. I lived with an active smoker and sometimes held ciggarettes (is that how you spell that) just to fit in:
Kashmiri bride: I may not have mentioned that the Evil Mad Scientist was of Pakistani descent, but he was, and once upon a time, I really truly did this, so I guess it's a path actually taken, but reverted. We stayed married for about .2 minutes after this, but at least I'll always have Pakistan...
Nomadic Hiker: Husband #1 was this sort-of restless, gypsy-ish nomad guy. My life could have looked like this, but mainly it looked like being alone, since he was usually off doing his own thing.
Alterna-babe: Even though I am a product of my generation, I have no tattoos. A couple of nose rings, yes. It's the path I didn't take, but I'm right next door... I'm an alt-dot-neighbor!
My birth father is an ex-Hell's Angel. Can't you see it? It's in my bloooood!
And finally, of course, this. I was SO close to becoming her. But chose instead to use my powers to remove dangling participles armed with nothing but a keyboard. (I kept my lasso, though).