Thursday, May 22, 2008

Useless

A few of my friends are simultaneously going through some tough times. And...I think I suck at being a great support when things are rough. Maybe this is typical?

In my family, there's a lot of "things will be fine, we love you" response to general personal angst, but the underlying message usually seems to be "suck it up, whiner".
Also, I think Mormon culture, or just the general post-pioneer-post-Depression-era stoicism of where-and-how I was raised, religious culture aside, tends to want to paint a smiley face on pain. Preferably with lipstick.

See? Pain feels better post-lipstick, Mother T, no?

I find this in my parenting as well. It's taken (and will continue to take) some time and work to just...let the sadness happen with the kids. Let them be where they are, without trying to fix, coddle or cajole them. And know that sometimes, they just need to be sad...until they aren't, anymore.

With my friends, though, I'm not sure where or how to be.

Maybe it's because I've been on the wrong end of suicidally down, and so I take long-term depression really seriously. Or maybe it IS my desire to see everyone up and happy and all right with the world.

At any rate, I'm in the midst of trying to be loving and present, without being overbearing, overcheerful, over-fixit or over-serious. To several people at once. Sans lipstick. Plus love.

Ahhhh...what is there to scream about with lovely Farrah hair?

Clearly I'm awesome at it...(yikes!)

1 comment:

angstmonkey said...

Thank you. Look at the ego on me!