A month of heart...

Did you hear this one?

Man says to doctor I eat spamburgers daily: angioplasty!

Ahhh...haiku. So wise.

Jamie doesn't eat spamburgers. Not even once. But apparently his heart hasn't heard the news. This Friday he's scheduled for an angiogram to see why his heart's not doing the things it orta.

Jamie is 36. He's my younger man! But he's inherited the cholesterol problem of someone much older.

After a routine physical last week, it seems like we've gotten daily doses of bad news about the state of his health. Words like coronary blockage, out-of-control triglycerides, stent, bypass. Immediate action. Words like heart attack.

Ironically, it's almost St. Valentine's day. February. The month of love. And hearts. There are effing hearts everywhere I look right now. But the one I'm looking at with real emotion is scaring me.

I don't want to overreact. Or overdramatize. We have options, doctors, insurance. I don't want to be so wet, but this is my partner - my kid's dad. It's been a strangely tremulous year, this 2009.

Thus far, I'm all for burning off the things which slow me down, make me less of the person I want to be. But a trial by fire from fear-of-loss, fear-of-death, just fear, I'm not sure I'm ready for all that.

We'll make it, but I'm afraid of being afraid.

Spin cycle: the hokey-pokey!

My first attempt at Spin Cycling! Jamie & I aren't necessarily the most overtly romantic couple you'll meet. Like, uh, at all. But we are closet cheeseballs. And this? Is our song. All passioned, bad hair, big plaid shirted 80's angsty rip-your-heart-outyness.

Interview, Part II

Remember this post? From 2 days ago? Babawawa time! A few people agreed to be my interviewee-guinea-pig types - Hooray...suckahs!

• Arwen, of The Difference Between Shooting Stars & Satellites, All Your Yarn Are Belong to Us, and Basically, we effing Rock! (because she's prolific like that). Arwen is hilarious, and touching and spunky and all of her blogs are delicious. Check her out!
• Captain Dumbass. Does anybody not read his blog? He's like...the blogger demigah. Half the blogs I read are part dumbass. In the good way...
• The River Grey. I'm too close to this knitter/chef/snarkass to quantify her. She's the snide in the snide patch who would give you her last...barbaloot. Cooler than crafty-punk, sweeter than mojitos. Smarter than most.
• Mamazen. Another blog lovah. Plus back-cracker, fighter, artist mama and source of cheer.
• Jenn at Wordy Mama. Boy, so I just started reading this blog, and it's SMART. And funny in a stealthy, ear-worm, creep-up-on-you-and-then-stay-with-you-way. Woof!

So I think the deal was that I would send each of you guys 5 unique questions, but instead I'm just going to put a bunch of questions here, from which you can choose 5. Or 15. Or 2. Please answer on your blog, link back, and comment on this post when you've done so? And please join in if you want. Because? Why not! Questions

1. Are you now or have you ever been psychic? How do you know?
2. Would you rather die heroically or cowardly?
3. How hard would it be for you to live somewhere without fresh indoor water? Electricity? Plumbing?
4. What is your primary cellphone ringtone?
5. Are you more witty or snarky?
6. Most extreme personal change or changes you've ever made?
7. Favorite city you've lived in or want to live in?
8. Has your life up til now been more blameless or messy? Moving forward from here, which one would you choose?
9. Worst kiss (or kiss-like experience)?
10. You HAVE to pick a religion to practice. Evangelical Christian, Zoroastrian, Jainist or Scientologist? (and why?)
11. The person you are romantically involved with announces they are getting a sex change. Would it change your feelings for them?
12. Meat helmet or thigh-high golden boots with large wings attached to them?
13. How many times have you been what you consider REALLY in love? Do you still love those people/that person?
14. When you die, what do you think happens? Do you hope to be disappointed or somehow wrong about that?
15. Do you know your ethnic ancestry? Is that interesting or otherwise important to you?